What Is The Essence Of True Friendship?

There are often those whose deep and abiding friendships started in childhood.

Back in 1997, poet and philosopher JOHN O'DONOHUE wrote a book, ANAM CARA: A BOOK OF CELTIC WISDOM, which was his masterwork. Mr. O'Donohue had a background, and was awarded a Ph,D., in Philosophical Theology in 1990; in 1980, he was ordained into the priesthood. He died suddenly in his sleep in 2008, at age 52.

In Anam Cara, John explores the various aspects of friendship in all of its soul-sustaining essence. In fact, when this title is translated into Gaelic, it means "soul-friend". So, what, exactly is a soul-friend?



According to John O'Donohue, "In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship....[A]nam cara in the Celtic world was the "soul friend". In the early Celtic Church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam cara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam cara, you could share your inner-most self, your mind and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an anam cara, your friendship cut across all convention, morality, and category. You were joined in an eternal way with the "friend of your soul"....This art of belonging awakened and fostered a deep and special companionship."

Realizing that belonging is one of a human being's biggest desires, a deeper belonging with a soul friend would be something highly sought and greatly fulfilling. A deep friendship is not one-sided, however. There is a mutual exchange of intimacies, a deep understanding of each other by both parties.

Mr. O'Donohue goes on to state that soul friendship is a very special form of love, much larger and transcendent than measuring the platonic against the romantic, "In this love, you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional lies and half-truths of social acquaintance fall away, you can be as you really are. Love allows understanding to dawn, and understanding is precious. Where you are understood, you are at home. Understanding nourishes belonging. When you really feel understood, you feel free to release yourself into the trust and shelter of the other person's soul....Love is the only light that can truly read the secret signature of the other person's individuality and soul."

Poet, philosopher, priest - John O'Donohue.

True friendship doesn't have to be from a person sanctified, or recognized in a religious way. It can come from and with, people who learn the depth of another person's soul, and remain, warts and all, in a committed friendship. That friendship doesn't need a ceremony to recognize it. It is deep and abiding on its own. It allows those in a true friendship relationship to feel comfortable in their own skins, so to speak, without any sense of needing to be only a vision of another person. It is what human beings seek, a belonging, a recognition, of who one is.

Thanks to this article from Brain Pickings: https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/08/12/anam-cara-john-o-donohue-soul-friend/; and the above links.

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