Transformation Via Dinner Party: A New Movement

The attendees at the very first dinner party.

Back when Lennon Flowers was a senior in high school, her mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. Her mother's illness caused her to change college plans; she would now attend the University of North Carolina to be closer to home, rather than her dream college of NYU. Her mother died during her senior year of college.

Discussing a major illness and then death of a close family member with friends can be rather difficult, especially when you're young. Frequently enough, your friends can be on a different wavelength and you don't want to dampen the atmosphere by bringing up your own sadness and worries.

Then, for some people the grieving process can be delayed; it can be difficult to absorb the fact that this significant loss has actually occurred. That is the experience Lennon had. The loss didn't really hit her until about a year after her mother's death. She reported, "By then, the surge of attention had disappeared. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me for feeling something a year later. It was a deep source of shame." In fact, what Lennon was experiencing is not all that uncommon. Delayed grieving also decreases the feeling of having the common grieving experience with other family members and limits that catharsis that comes from talking through the feelings with them.



Three years later, after she moved to Los Angeles, she met Carla Fernandez, and they got to talking. Both had in common losing a parent while they were still young adults. A few months afterwards, Carla organized a dinner party for five women, including her new friend Lennon, with the commonality they shared of having lost a parent and feeling so alone with their feelings.

With the special decorations and the atmosphere, the invitees were able to share their individual stories, talking well into the night and staying together overnight. What was so meaningful from one dinner party became a movement, THE DINNER PARTY, LIFE AFTER LOSS. Visit the website; its purpose is to become life-changing, especially for young adults who have experienced significant losses, among friends who may not share that experience. Currently, there are about 31 tables throughout this country, engage in holding dinner parties monthly.

This common experience of loss, which many people have difficulty discussing, has become the focus of discussion in a social setting, changing the climate of keeping the silence about deep feelings.

Another gathering of young adults for dinner.

Thanks to this article from On Being for the heads up and information: http://www.onbeing.org/blog/breaking-bread-and-healing-hearts-one-dinner-party-at-a-time/7110, and from the above link.

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