Everything Under The Sun: Sometimes It's Those Simple Acts

David Rosenman giving a presentation at the GoldLab Symposium.

This is something that many parents do. It was a breakfast out, at a coffee shop, between a dad and his daughter. The dad, David Rosenman, a physician and assistant professor living in Rochester, MN, had taken his 9-year-old daughter out for breakfast. The plan was for him to catch up with emails and do a bit of online work while his daughter worked on a knitting project - you know, that distracted type of breakfast, where both family members catch up with another task and then are on their ways.

But that's not the way it turned out. Mr. Rosenman's daughter asked if they could just be together, you know, the old-fashioned talk to each other, while enjoying each other's company. Now, dad could have just continued with his plan, just gone on to catch up with work tasks, but he didn't. He decided to have a conversation with his daughter, complete with giggles, smiles, joking, stories about each others' experiences.

Mr. Rosenman continued, "So today we were together. She showed me her yarn project. I recalled the day she was born. We compared notes about whether or not couples at other tables were on 'dates' (she likes to impersonate people on dates - resting her smiling face on her hands and practicing a starry-eyed stare). She told me about her friends and their hamsters. I watched her chew her breakfast sandwich and melted a little bit as I thought about how much I love her." It's moments together like this, in which parents are able to discover the young child in formation, her interests, her personality. It's also a moment for a parent to show by doing, how important that youngster is, and the presence and availability of the parent.

However, these special moments between father and daughter did not go unnoticed. While dad David went up to pay the bill and order a take-out sandwich for his son, a note was left, by a mystery woman, at their table. The note said, "I work at a school where many daughters don't have fathers & those who do have never in their lives had him watch + listen + devote 100% of his attention to her for as long as you did on one Sunday morning. You have no idea what a gift you are giving to all the teachers who are responsible for educating her from now until she graduates."

Dad David was a bit remorseful that his daughter had to ask him to change his usual behavior, to pay attention and give his time to her. The note, after all, had drawn attention to this difference in his usual routine to the point that he posted online about it. He pleaded with other parents to give full attention to their children, "Please don't wait for your child or other loved one to plead for your attention like mine did - he or she might not. Expect that no one will leave a note for you - such beauty in the world is far too rare. I invite you to share the gift of this experience with me: choose to be present today - even for just a little while - for someone you love."

Being fully with your child means turning off that laptop and providing presence.

I couldn't have said it better. In the midst of this technology connected world, at this holiday season, this is one gift that costs nothing, but is worth so much more. Give fully of yourself to someone you love. Put that cell phone, that laptop down, and pay attention to those you love. Not only do you give to the someone you love, but you receive so much in return.